Istanbul and I

Istanbul, the city I'm in love with.

It's been years, the meaningless random chain of thoughts all of a sudden led memories, details into my mind, I have a "beyond emo" memory with it, dear readers, let me share:

Year is 2008, time for my mandatory military duty has come, I'm about move out from my third house in Kadıköy (central district of Anatolian side of Istanbul). Many of my stuff are to be sent to hometown via cargo and we'll pack the rest to the pick-up like thing and go, at least that's the plan.

We brought cargo people, other things were packed and turns out we have to personally go to the cargo office, things need to be weighted, they'll get payment according to that. My dad was dealing with some other thing, so me and mom hopped on, squeezed at the front of the cargo truck, with my stuff at the back, we hit the road.

Right when we were passing the big road passing through the old bazaar place named Salı Pazarı (literally means: Tuesday Bazaar), after rain, clouds dividing and probably because we were so close to its source: A huge rainbow appeared with sunlight, maybe one of the most clear and biggest rainbows I've ever seen in person was right in front of me.

Until then, I had strengthen my resolve about the general situation and generally I don't mind many things a lot, I approach problems like "We'll deal with it when it happens." and try to solve them like that and I thought, and I also thought I was logical and all, but against that view with sun rays and rainbow, I turned my mom, with that same sarcasm, I said:
"Hehe see, Istanbul's bidding me farewell!"

With saying that, suddenly I realized it was true, even for a temporary period, for at least fifteen months we'd be away from each other. My old house, ferries that I could hop on whenever I wanted, the Bosphorus view from Moda I could see when I was bored, that never stopping noise, that city center full of life, I really had to say farewell.

All these went before my eyes in a millisecond, suddenly a weight came down on me, I literally burst into tears. At first I tried to hold myself, but it came on so heavy, in a second it was all out of control with hiccups and sobbing, eyes pouring out. My mom was shocked too, but after all she's a mother; then she said the only thing that could be said:
"Oh my, don't worry son, eventually this is the place you'll come back to."

I calmed down then, we managed the cargo, returned, at the evening we packed the remaining stuff into the pick-up. Sun went down, it went dark, and electricity was already cut off that day. No curtains, no furniture. I'd close the door for the last time and I'd never see inside of that house again. Literally, a page in life, things I did not care much about, details of the house got my attention, I knew they were waiting for me, but for one last time I thought I should wander the house.

I mean, until that time, like I've never observed before, I could recall any memory I wanted, almost like an hallucination. My ex-girlfriend, my cat which I took care of when he had a broken foot, the place where my computer was, the place I slept, friends, whoever came and went, whatever happened in the house, they were about to be left behind.

I looked and this ending like situation, about it I was almost thinking "Game over, I lost.", but then I remembered what my mom said, I repeated it: "Eventually this is the place I'll come back to." then I ended it with hitting myself with a cliché:
"But this time, it will be so much better!" I took a deep breath, while giving it I closed the door.

After all these, I stayed with my family for a month at my hometown (Afyon, told you at previous post), went to military service, it ended and I came back, I even took some time off when I was in military but never went to Istanbul. When I was at sentry duty, I always linked Istanbul and freedom together and fantasized like "What should I do first when I return and see Istanbul?"

It all passed, seemed like never-ending but even the fifteen month long military duty was over, in the end I came back to Istanbul and after I got down from shuttle of the bus, I stepped at Kadıköy in the dead of the morning. I went across the road to seaside, until I see Haydarpaşa Train Station. With some minor changes everything was in place. My loyal love Istanbul was waiting for me. I mean, I even thought of "kissing the ground", but spiritually I kissed more places with my eyes, there was no need to lick the amazing Istanbul germs, I said.

Actually, when I think about my current situation, everything was so much better, at least as house and living. Now we're in Moda (a more peaceful part of Kadıköy, between seaside and center), first I moved in with my sister, then we moved my mom in with us, after them I had a new little brother named Tarçın (means Cinnamon, our yorkie), together somehow we're getting by.

So, for me Istanbul is a city like this.

As a matter of fact, if you think I'm exaggerating, I can prove this sense of loving the city like this:
Prerequisite, being in Istanbul of course. As a routine or for the first time: Ride the ferry!
Day or night, sit on the side, or anywhere from where you can see the view, after five minutes of looking around if you are not a happy person, sorry my friend, you're beyond saving.

As a matter of fact, original of this post is from Ekşi Sözlük (Sour Dictionary that I told about at the first post) and original is here if you are good with Turkish: https://eksisozluk.com/entry/29569833
Thing is, I didn't notice the entry count when I was writing the 34th one, (Why 34? Because it's Istanbul's license number.) So when I noticed I was arriving at 3400th entry, that random chain of thoughts I told you about when I was starting this post happened, the memories got triggered and this post happened.

In the end, still and after all Istanbul and I have a happy relationship, but of course I shouldn't talk big, if life creates different needs, happens that I may move to some other city, but even if that happens, its place in my heart is reserved, always I can come back to visit, I can promise that.

- Aernath